If not now, when?

 

I am a good procrastinator. I put off what’s hard, involved, painful, intense for as long as I can. I save the hardest projects at work for last. When I was in school, I would wait to the night before a deadline and crank out an A paper. That used to infuriate my sister. I work better under pressure. Long, extended deadlines don’t work well for me. Which is why I think I struggle with weight loss so much. I only see a long journey ahead. I only see the end result where I’ve met my goal weight. I always look at the longest route, how painful it will be, and how much sacrifice I will endure. I never look at the stops along the way. The exciting new revelations I will uncover about myself.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I am tired of putting things off for when I get to goal. What kind of life is that? Take my bike as an example. I JUST bought a bike. I put it off, didn’t really think about it for years because I just didn’t want that to be another fitness tool that got dusty and rusty for lack of use. Screw that. I want to ride. I am tired of waiting. I am tired of worrying about stupid stuff. I am tired of sitting on the sidelines of my own life. Waiting for my weight to magically disappear so I can get back to living. How warped is that? Yes, I need to lose weight. Yes, I need to lose more than a “little” weight. You know what, who cares? I am more than a number on the scale. (Thanks Wynona. Did you see that commercial with Wynona Judd for Alli? Good commercial. Really weird product).

I am not satisfied with my progress, more like stalled progress. I am tired of feeling regret for the days and months and years that pass me by while I sit and toil about my weight. As my daughter would say, “Whatever Major Loser”—only she has hand gestures that go along with it. (Think of the “L” on your forward type of hand gesture—nothing obscene!)

I created a Google Group for my WW meeting location so those attending meetings at that location can talk to each other and offer encouragement. It was off to a slow start but it’s been picking up lately and I am really excited about all of the great members who are on there. Everyone has their own journey and we can help each other and celebrate each other’s victories and be there for the trip ups.

I can do this.