Lunch Hour Confessions

I am a smart gal.

I've read about 1,000 diet and exercise magazines, 200 weight loss books, and perused about 2,000,000 weight loss websites, success stories, and web articles on how to lose weight. Hear about a new weight loss tip or exercise theory? I've probably read about or heard about it.

Yet, here I am. Still struggling. Still doing the same thing over and over again.

I've joined Weight Watchers more times than I care to count. I bet it's about a dozen. Probably 2. I know a lot of people join and rejoin Weight Watchers and find success. My Weight Watchers leader is one of them. Pam, the super leader, joined WW a bunch of times, lost a lot of weight (my goal amount and then some), quit, regained it all back (and then some), and then proceeded to lose it all. Now, she helps others with their weight loss struggle. I admire her. I want to be her someday when I grow up. :)

I have been doing some serious introspection lately. I don't like what I am thinking or feeling. I am feeling like I really don't have what it takes to turn this around. I am deliberately doing things to screw up my success. I am not following the diet that I said I would or wanted to. I start off bad and it gets worse. Most days. Weekends are easier for me because I am within my safe zone. I have a finite amount of choices for meals and I stick to those healthy options. At work, I am at the mercy of my hankerings. Whatever I want is basically available to me and I almost always give in. Even if it's just a different breakfast or snacks or a cheeseburger. Silly really. I mean, I work in a building with around 6500 employees and a lot of them bring their lunch and eat it without supplementing it with cafeteria crap. Why can't I? Weird.

While we're on the subject of lunch, I need to change my environment. I always, always eat lunch at my desk. In front of my computer. FAIL. I need to stop this and eat my lunch in the cafeteria. I need to take a break from work and find some time to recharge. Go for a walk, listen to a podcast, anything to break the habit of eating and sitting. Sitting and eating. 

I am frustrated with all of this. I am beyond bored with writing the same post over and over again complaining and whining about why I am still struggling. Whaaa whaaaa whaaa. That's all I hear anymore. I am OVER ME. I am OVER being this Suzi. Something has to change. Being healthy is the only option. Being healthy means making some hard changes, moving away from my comfort zone, and starting over.

Time to make some changes. Time to get moving.