You know, an ordinary day...

Today started out as an ordinary day. Got up with the kids around 7am. Went downstairs and made them breakfast (them-waffles me-Kashi GO Lean Crunch!). Watched some TV. Went to the gym. Came home and went to Super Target. You know, the usual Sunday. We love Sundays.

While at Target, I was checking out my Twitter feed on my phone. Cuz, you know, I love me my Twitter. Anyway...an update from @ameliasprout and @mollyinminn came through about BlogHer 10 early bird registration and the deadline being today! Ack! I hadn't really thought about going to BlogHer because we are going on our DisneyWorld extravaganza in 54 DAYS! So, I mentioned this to Jason and how awesome it would be to go and it's in New York City and that's awesome and before I knew what hit me I could see that he wasn't tuning me out and OH MY GOD he was actually listening to me and was asking me if I wanted to go and how much is it and when is it and OH MY GOD I might be able to go!?  and HOLY CRAP this is way too good and this was NOT how I thought this conversation was going to go and HURRY HOME so I can check out the price and book it before he comes to his senses and realizes that this is 3 WHOLE DAYS alone with the girls! In August! Over a Weekend!

Phew... it happened really fast. :) 

BlogHer '10 here I come!

Mom Genes

There are days that I honestly cannot believe that I am a mom. Raising these two beautiful girls will be the most important thing I do in my entire life and I am fully committed to making sure that they grow up to be happy, healthy, and intelligent women. I love being a mom. I loved it from the very beginning on September 13th, 2003 when my Kaitlyn was born. She was a beautiful baby with these amazing eyes and eyelashes. People stopped and would comment on how beautiful her eyes were--they still do. I loved being home with her in those early days and weeks when it was just the two of us. I'd just sit there and stare at her with wide-eyed amazement that she was mine. I did the same with my Chloebelle. I'd just stare and feel complete.

My family.

 

Now, as they get older, I catch myself watching them play together or sit together or sleep next to each other and I feel the tears start to form in my eyes. How did I get so lucky to be their mom? What did I do to deserve such an honor? I thank God every day for them for they give me purpose and a reason to do better. I WANT to do better because of them. Even in my darkest moods a single glance or goofy smile from Chloe will lift my right out of my despair.


 

When I am stressed out about work, I'll look up at my desk and see a note Kaitlyn wrote me or a picture she drew that will send me over the moon and put an instant smile on my face. I've been known to start chuckling in the middle of a meeting because of a picture or scribbling I've found in my notebook--evidence that my girls have been there. There is no better cure to a boring meeting than to read a note from Kaitlyn or a scribbled bug drawn by my bug, Chloe.

Some days I wonder if I will ever do them justice. I have been struggling lately with not having enough patience or not wanting to take time to just play with them or sit with them. I see it. I know I am being less than loving at times and all I want to do is crawl into bed and escape the yelling and the fighting and the crying. You know, normal sister stuff. Jason has infinite amounts of patience compared to me lately and my frustration is really taking a toll. It's not something that we haven't struggled with before but it's something I want to fix once and for all.


My girls know that they are loved. They feel loved. They know how to love and to understand that love is not always perfect or shiny and happy. You can love and be frustrated. You can love and be grumpy. I want them to know that our family is their safe haven. I want them to know that even though I am not always patient, not always in the best mood, I am always their mom and no matter what else is going on in my life, they are my priority and my joy and my heart. Being their mom is something I was made to do.

Friday Finds!: Survey Sites

Do you like giving your opinion on new ideas, new products, etc? Do you like earning some extra cash? Do you already spend time in front of your computer wondering what next to look at? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, today is your lucky day. Because today is my Friday Finds post and today I am talking surveys!

 I first heard about paid surveys last year after I read a blog post about these survey sites and decided to check it out. Some of the sites require you to sign up and you get inundated with emails about "special offers" and entries into contests that require you to register for a trial version of a product, etc. I made the mistake and did sign up for one of those sites and my email was indundated with hundreds of email offers over the next few days. It was a nightmare. I ended up deleting the email account and never returned to that site again. I won't even tell you the name of that site and I doubt it's even in existance today.

I did find a few sites that I trust and that's what I want to share today for my Friday Finds. I started with PineCone Research last year and I really enjoy it. You are sent an email at least once a month (depending on your profile and survey availability) and after you log in and go through a pre-screening, you are taken to the survey. Most surveys take less than 20 minutes and they pay $3.00. Not bad. I use PayPal so the money goes into my PayPal account within a few days. Enough for a cup of coffee. That's fine. :) This site doesn't always take new members so you need to check back often if they aren't taking anyone right now.

The other survey site that I use is Opinion Outpost. This survey site has been a lot of fun to work with. You complete a series of profiles and based on those, you get sent surveys to complete. If you qualify, you can earn points. 10 points=$1.00. Sometimes, you may not qualify for a survey and they will give you a chance to try another survey. You can redeem your points in $10 increments and they mail you a check almost right away. Jason LOVES this survey site. I stopped doing these surveys because you can only have one person per household registered and since I didn't have time to do these he kept his profile active. Ah, the things we do for love. Ha! You can refer others to join Opinion Outpost and if those that sign up through your link earn money, you earn money as well. So...if you sign up through THIS LINK RIGHT HERE my husband will be forever grateful. :) 

So, surveys. They are a fun way to make some extra money. Don't expect to be able to quit your job and just stay home and complete surveys all day...but you can make some extra cash by just giving your opinion. How easy is that?

Do you have any fun easy ways to make a few extra bucks online? If so, share them!

Weight Journey Wednesday: 58 days (but who’s counting)

We leave for DisneyWorld in 58 days. I have mixed emotions. About 84% of me is super excited to be going. What’s not to be excited about: we are staying at a cool hotel, have a full week of Snow White, Cinderella, and Mickey and Minnie stalking ahead of us, TONS of smiles, pictures, laughs, and splashes in the pool. The other 16% of me, however, would rather hide under a rock.

Some days those numbers are reversed. 


You see, when we decided last May that we were going to do a big ol’ DisneyWorld extravaganza, I made a vow that I would NOT go to DisneyWorld in my current shape. I vowed to get to my goal weight and this trip would be my reward.

Ya, not so much.

Sadly, I am nowhere near my goal weight. I had hoped that having this trip on my horizon would be the impetus I had been looking for to finally lose the weight. How sad. So, here I am, 58 days away from this amazingly awesome vacation with my loving husband and two awesome girls, and I am already fretting about it. I still have a few weeks left so all hope is not lost to make some progress, but it’s too late for any “transformation”. Seriously, who thinks like this!?

It just goes to show you how ridiculous weight issues make you feel. I mean really. I love my body. It’s hard for me to focus on the fact that I had two near perfect pregnancies and two smooth deliveries resulting in two amazing daughters. I don’t have any chronic health issues and when I get sick or injured, I heal pretty darn fast. I am lucky. I have friends who have battled cancer, lost friends who’ve battled lifelong illnesses, and have friends who had miscarriages. I don’t have anything to complain about, including my squishy butt. It’s easy to focus on what you SEE—and right now I see flaws. Not the strengths.

So, as the clock ticks down the days to 0 and we fly off to our DisneyWorld adventure, I will try and remember that while my body may be squishy, it’s not broken. I won’t wallow in the superficialness of it all and focus on soaking up the smiles and laughter and wide eyes of my daughters.

Technology Tuesday: Google Docs!

I’m not a PC. I’m not a Mac.

I’m a Google.

I use Google for just about everything. Case in point:

My email: Gmail (Google)
My Photos: Picasa (Google)
My Search Engine of Choice: Google.com
My Homepage: iGoogle
My Spreadsheet program: Google Docs
My Word Processing program:  Google Docs

You get the picture…

I use Google for a lot of things and chances are, if Google has a version of something, I’m likely to try it right away (i.e., Wave, Buzz). My next phone will be an Android phone and not an iPhone. Although, I love the iPhone and have kicked myself for not getting one instead of my Blackberry. But, the Android phone has won me over—especially the prospects of their upcoming device, the HTC Supersonic for Sprint.
Cannot. Freaking. Wait.

Ahem…going back to Google Docs. I, like most people in my profession, lived or died by Microsoft Office at one point or another. I could format a Microsoft Word document within an inch of its life. I used to be a PowerPoint monkey and could whip out a presentation in no time (now they’ve gone and added all these stupid crap effects that EVERYONE HATES to it. Blech). And I am fiscally balanced because of my trusty Microsoft Excel spreadsheet for my checking account.

Microsoft Office did the job. It was fine. The only thing I didn’t like was that I had to be using my own computer to access my files. Or, use a disk (a what!?!?) or email it. Silly. Then… THEN I tried Google Docs. I had heard good things about it being just like Office yet you could reach it anywhere because it was stored on the server, or on the “cloud” as the techies prefer to speak.

My Google Docs Page with all of my folders!

I moved my trusty spreadsheet over to Google Docs first. Amazingly, copying it over was just about seamless. I love the fact that I can simply log in to my Google Docs account (same username/password as all of your other Google accounts) and Bam! Access to my Google Docs. I love that I can share my files with others by simply emailing them a link and then they become contributors to my spreadsheet. Love it.

And, I love love love that I can store all of my different files on my "cloud" including non-Google files like my PDFs. Brilliant! I can share folders with other people too.  I can access my files from any computer, anywhere. Think how handy that could be? I use Google Docs for my personal budget spreadsheet and it's been amazingly handy to just pull it up at home or at my parents house and check my balances, etc.

So, there you go. Do you use Google Docs? How? 

:)

Roses

I have a friend. She and I have been friends for just about a year or so--maybe not even that long. We met at the daycare when she asked me one day "Do you work at ...?" Turns out, not only work at the same company, but we sat just across the hall from each other--and didn't even realize it. We started emailing and then we decided to start meeting at the gym on Wednesday mornings to work out.

Neither of us were fans of working out (especially at 5am) but we both needed to go and Wednesday morning was our time to meet and work out. Knowing she would be expecting me to be there made me get out of bed at 4:30am to meet her. We did that for a few months and it was great.

Then things happened and she couldn't meet me anymore on Wednesday mornings.

My friend was hurting and she was dealing with circumstances far beyond anything that I could possibly imagine. I tried to be a good friend and I listened to her, escaped down to Caribou at our office with her when things got to be too much, hugged her when she was about to collapse with despair, and tried to make her smile when she just couldn't stand another minute of it. Slowly and tenuously, she started to regain her footing. She was going to be fine.

And then, just before Christmas, she lost her job. As her friend, I was heartbroken. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs "WHY HER?". I knew our company was downsizing and I knew it would be affecting her area. But still. Why her?

She was determined to survive this. No--do better. Get better. She didn't have time to wallow or slip under the covers for a few days (I TOTALLY WOULD DO THIS). She got right on setting up meetings, interviews, resume sessions, you name it.

She was going to be fine.

Tomorrow, my friend starts a new chapter in her life. One that I know will be challenging but oh so rewarding. She won't be working with me anymore and I am sad that I won't be able to pop over to her cube to chat whenever I feel like it. But, I am proud of her because she went after it and she got it. She and her son and daughter have been through a lot these last few months, but I see nothing but sunshine ahead because their mom is an amazing woman with a heart of gold and a will of steel.

Nothing will stop her.

Here's to you, my friend.

Friday Finds!

As promised, I am starting to devote particular days to a particular theme. So, today is the first installment--Friday Finds! I scour the Intertubes looking for great web sites that promise to suck all your time entertain you.

Today, may I direct your attention to:

bakerella.com

WARNING: Going to her site will make you gain 5 pounds. Instantly. For reals. 

I just discovered Bakerella a few weeks ago and I've been obsessed ever since. She bakes. FOR. FUN. Her cake pops have set off a Blogosphere storm of copy-cats.  Uh, take a look:

See? Ya, go here for the recipe and while you are there, take a look around. I dare you.

Bakerella, or Angie Dudley, is an amazing photographer and the pictures of her baked treasures are stunning in and of themselves.

Besides cake pops, she bakes...wait for it...

CUPCAKE POPS.

This really shouldn't be a site that you visit when you are trying to cut out sugar and sweets. It truly is food porn. Ugh, pass me more carrot sticks please. :)

So, here you go. My first Friday Find. I'd love to make you some cupcake pops myself, but I just don't have the strength or will power to not eat them all up! You can bet I will be making these for the girls' birthday parties. Too perfect. :)



all images from bakerella.com

Moving Forward

First off, thanks for the words of encouragement on my last post. I was having a pity-party for Suzi that night and just poured it all out there. Sometimes that is what is needed--to see where  you really are in order to move forward. So, now, I move forward.

Being happy and being healthy are what is most important to me. My life is pretty darn awesome right now. Even my weight issues aren’t so bad. I mean really. Getting to my goal isn’t so far out there—I mean people have lost multiple hundreds of pounds. I don’t even need to lose 100lbs. I need to suck it up and focus. So, that’s what I am going to do.

Focus Forward

I had said in my Valentine’s Day post that I was making some changes to my blog. I want to start some “themed” posts—like Technology Tuesday. I am a geek girl and I love all things technology so I’ll be working on some great technology posts. Also, for sure, I’ll continue to post about my weight loss journey but I might focus those on Wednesdays—Weight Journey Wednesday! I guess I like common letter themed titles, huh? Geez. And, I want to share some of my favorite blogs and websites with you. So, look for Friday Finds. J I have a ton of great websites to share including one that hasn’t even launched yet. My new work friend Andrea (hi!) is launching a blog soon and it’s going to be amazing. She’s the one who inspired me to be more organized. She’s cool like that. :) I’ll definitely be sending you her way once it launches. (no pressure, Andrea! Ha!)

So, there you have it. I am feeling bolstered by your encouragement and am ready to stop feeling so damn sorry for myself and to just do it. Live my life! 

I am so frustrated

I SUCK. I SUCK. I SUCK.

I have been SUCKING lately. Sorry, but it's true. I am not getting anywhere with my weight loss goals or my strive to change my eating habits. I am making horrible choices, purposely choose the WRONG things and not paying attention to what I am doing. I am not tracking what I am eating consistently, I am not drinking enough water, and I AM drinking too much Diet Coke. I am still working out with my Team Weight Loss program (thankfully), but I could be working out harder.

What is it that makes me NOT do what I know I am capable of doing? If I sit and think about what I WANT to accomplish, I get motivated because I want so badly to be healthier and I want to make the necessary changes to help accomplish this. Yet, when it comes time to actually doing what I NEED to do, I shrug it off and go back to my daily habits: A bagel for breakfast loaded with cream cheese (low fat! like that makes any difference), TOO MUCH DIET COKE, and not enough fresh fruit and vegetables. Too much red meat. TOO MUCH white sugar, DIET COKE. DIET COKE. DIET COKE.

So, ya. I suck right now. I see the effects of my suckiness everywhere: my back still hurts and I know it's because I am not taking care of myself. My hair seems duller than normal (my hair is usually really thick and shiny. Sigh). My attitude is LESS THAN STELLAR. I could go on....

So, YA. I am in a grumpy place right now. I am kind of regretting throwing this out there but whatever. This is me being accountable--even in the smallest of amounts. And, I know that there are those out there reading this who've been in my position and have come through on the other side.

I am selfishly hoping you'll leave some advice, some ass-kicking, shut-up and do it, stop talking and get with it, you have to go to DisneyWorld in 2 months Suzi so get your ass in gear comments. Please!? :)

Ugh.

To My Valentines

Dear Valentines,

I hope today brings you lots of love, lots of hugs, and lots and lots of chocolate. 

I will be spending today with my love and our crazy lovely daughters. We may go ice skating, we may go to IKEA (woot!) and we will most certainly have some chocolate, cuz its calorie free today--didn't you know!? Ha!

 And, if you are looking for something yummy to make, may I suggest you head over to my new obsession--Bakerella? Caution: you will feel instantly inferior to just about everything she makes. For example, her latest post shows you how to make these adorable lollipops.

Charming! 





Also! I am changing the format a bit for this blog--expect some fun changes this week. And, a celebratory super awesome giveaway--or at least I think it's super awesome. :)

Love,

Oh, snow

I love snow. I love watching snow fall. I love walking in the snow when it is falling, I love watching my kids play in the snow.

I love watching Jason clear our driveway with our monster snow blower (ha!). I even love driving in it.

I am good at driving in the snow--I remember my dad teaching me control my car if it spins and how to brake on ice, etc.

I remember "bumper surfing" in our high school parking lot with my best guy buds after high school band practice (nerd!) and loved sliding down the huge hill at Mill Creek Park back home in Ohio. :)

I love coming in from the snowy outside to a warm fire, hot cocoa, and snuggling up with my girls and a good movie or books.

I love wearing my fake UGG boots (Target brand--they rock!), wearing my black puffy jacket, my scarves, and my gloves. Heavenly.


I am such a winter girl.

PS. Like the hats my girls are wearing this picture?? Go here for more info. Locally made (Apple Valley, MN) and they are awesome.

Progress is, well…relative.

I’ve been part of Team Weight Loss at my gym for 4 weeks now. I have gone every day (Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday) and I love it. The group I am with is fun and energetic and inspiring. My trainer is a riot. She’s very loud and fun and actually knows her stuff. My nutritionist is very nice, knowledgeable, and very forgiving for a newbie like me. I am still struggling/resisting tracking my food intake. They give you a really nice food journal and I’ve used it but more times than I care to admit, I’ve skipped tracking and had to go back and fill in the blanks. Oops. Tracking is a huge thing for me. I SUCK at it. This is not new. Counting calories is hard to because I am used to counting points. So, focusing on the calorie content and the Diabetic Exchange Units (that’s what this program recommends we follow) is even harder for me to grasp. But, I am trying. In my own way I guess.

Physically, I feel modestly better. My clothes do feel a bit looser. My goal for this session was not really focused on how much weight I can lose (although that’s there too), but to develop a lasting habit of going to the gym at least 3 days a week. People, that is huge for me. If I can sustain this workout for 3 days a week, every week, that’s progress. No more skipping the gym, no more sitting in the car willing myself to get out of the car, no more avoiding it. This is my goal for the first 12 week session. I thought I might continue this again after the 12 week session ends in April. We’ll see. It’s expensive and it has been very hard to be away from home 3 nights a week. But, I keep trying to tell myself that I would still need to go to the gym at night during the week. So, really, being gone from 530-730 is NOT that bad. I am home in time to put Chloe to bed and to read/hang out with Kaitlyn before she goes to bed. So, this is fine.

Don’t you hate the Mommy Guilt that seems to accompany just about every decision you make? Nice. Thanks for that, society.

So, ya, I am making progress, but perhaps not the conventional weight-loss progress that I thought I’d see. Maybe this habit-forming progress means more anyway? I say yes.

Giveaway Reminder! Don’t forget to enter my giveaways: Yo Gabba Gabba, Chocolate Cheerios, and Progresso Soup. Fun!